It's been over 8 years since I've written in this blog.

  It feels like it was only a few years ago, But almost 9 years have gone by since I wrote.

I did not want to be that person anymore, I figured if I stayed away from the blog, I would relive it less.

So much time has passed, the hole in my heart still there, forever 💔  but as life goes on the most valuable phrase that I live by and share is " YOU NEVER GET OVER IT, YOU JUST LEARN TO LIVE WITH IT!"

 Tomorrow is 12 years ago, that faitful day when I went to see my babies at the end of my 1st trimester on the big screen with my phone in hand so excited to video their little souls in 3 seperate sacs inside of my body.  But there would be no video that day, as they were GONE!!!!

 I can still relive that day as if it was yesterday, a day I will never forget, A day to change my life forever, I would never be the same, nor should I be.

 Since my last post I have had many more losses, My precious Valentino that I had mentioned in the past with the heart problems, He was so sick but he did not want to leave me, it was a very rough decision but it had to be done or he would suffer. 

2 new babies entered my life that I'm positive he had something to do with, I know he sent them to me a year apart, the first one just weeks after he passed in 2015.

Then the most precious Petunia left us the following year in 2016.